MinxT

Hi Everyone,

I am new to the site and looking for a little advice from the community. Recently I found myself in a tough situation and I am desperate to get advice from those who have previously been in my shoes. My story is quite long, but I will try to be as brief as possible.

I have a niece who is 20 years old who has suffered with addiction for a little over a year now. Her drugs of choice are Heroin, Crack, and Marijuana, but will pretty much do anything within reach. Around 8 months ago, my family and I received a call from the hospital and found out that she had overdosed on Heroin. This was the first time we found out that she was using hard drugs and it was quite a huge shock to my family. At the time we were very inexperienced on how to deal with someone suffering from addiction and missed a lot of the signs. She swore up and down that it was her first time and that she was actually trying to commit suicide. As a result, she was institutionalized for 3 days. She has never been suicidal, and seeing her go through treatment made me realize that it was more than likely a way for her to get sympathy from my family. We later learned that it was not her first time, and that she and her boyfriend had been using for roughly two months before this incident.

Before I go any further let me give a little background. My niece was always a good kid and a good student. Her only downfall was her desperation for attention and to fit in. She stayed out of trouble and I believe she just fell into the wrong crowd. Her parents split when she was young, and my sister had little communication with her father growing up. My sister soon remarried but my niece never really got a long with her step-dad. He is a great guy, it just wasn't her father so she had trouble listening to what he had to say.

We were quite naive after this and believed all was well. She was enrolled in school and had a job so we didn't really suspect anything until around 2 months later. Apparently someone saw her boyfriend using in the car and called the police. She was charged with Possession of Crack Cocaine and did a couple days in jail. My sister got a pretty good lawyer for her and she was sentenced to 16 months probation.

Around 2 months into her probation we discovered messages that proved she was still using. She found a way to cheat the system. We buckled down on her and cut her off of all sources of money. She went through withdrawals and seemed to be clean for awhile.

Unfortunately her mother and step-father had to relocate due to work and my niece found every excuse not to move with them. We begged her to go but she wouldn't listen. She agreed to move in with my mother, her grand mother. I noticed a few things missing around my moms house, including a few of my father's valuable keepsakes. He passed away a few years ago so they meant a great deal to me. I naturally got incredibly angry about the situation, did some research and found out she was using yet again. I asked her to take a drug test one night which she wouldn't take until the following morning after I went home. My mom read the results and told me she failed for marijuana (I later found the test and discovered she actually failed for 6 drugs). I contacted her probation officer and told her what I suspected because I was worried about my mother's health. My mom is quite a worrier and I feared that my niece would give her a heart attack. The probation officer did absolutely nothing, so I didn't know what to do.

Less than a week later I received a call from my mother that pretty much everything of value in the house had been stolen. She filed a police report and we both gave statements. So far we have accounted for around $15,000 worth of stuff missing. We are finding new stuff that's missing every day though. We obviously knew she had involvement as there was no sign of forced entry.

So this leads me to where I desperately need advice. My family is being torn apart. There is constant fighting between my sister and her husband and I honestly fear for the well being of my mother. The officer working on the case called me and let me know they had enough evidence to press charges on my niece and asked if we wanted to proceed with the charges.

My mom wants to press charges but feels like she will be condemning my niece to a difficult life. My sister is adamant not to press charges, but my brother-in-law believes its the best outcome. I believe she hasn't had any consequences for her actions and she needs to learn a lesson, but if I press charges it means she will be in violation of probation as well as a grand larceny charge. She refuses to go to rehab because she doesn't think she needs help. She still wont admit that she is using drugs even when we lay a used syringe or drug test right in front of her. Her lying and manipulation has grown out of hand. We have tried interventions and nothing seems to work. If I proceed with the charges she will likely get court ordered rehab in addition to some serious jail time. Am I condemning her by doing so?

Thank you for reading my story and any advice is greatly appreciated.