I just wanted to add one thing. Again, Carmen, you're asking what's "normal" in a relationship with an alcoholic. It doesn't MATTER what's "normal"--whether something is part of alcoholism or plain unacceptable behavior.
YOU get to decide what you do and do not want to tolerate. It doesn't matter whether behavior is "normal" for an alcoholic, "normal" for guys in general, or "normal" in the general population. If it makes you feel unhappy, used, abused, or uncomfortable, then you don't need it in a relationship. You are absolutely privileged, at any time, to say, "I don't want this in my life," and to walk away from it.