Hi Butterfly, I'm with you on the anger thing.
My daughter's first birthday is coming up and it's so upsetting that her Dad won't be there. That she needs to suffer, even though she is only 1. Can't imagine what it would be like at 21.
I think grief is fluid so don't be surprised if you bounce between anger and other emotions.
I try and feel it but not get stuck on it though, otherwise, I just end up miserable. Meanwhile, he's enjoying another drink!
Hugs.