foolsgold,
we're good; thanks.
it amazed me that after the birth i went back to drinking. mind you, i was young, too, and "young" in my drinking. i knew i had a problem, but i didn't see the extent of it. and being able to stop drinking so easily while pregnant led me to believe that i could always easily quit.
this was confirmed to my AV and me by quitting again in my second pregnancy.
after that...thirty more years of drinking.
but you're here, getting support, being aware of the nature of your 'problem'.
i didn't even realize any of that at the time.
and i couldn't quit smoking, much as i tried.
so i still don't really "get it".
there are things you can do about not going back to drinking. lots of things.
being here is one of them.
one day shortly after i quit drinking, my then 28-year old asked me straight out: "Mom, did you drink when you were pregnant with me?"
i cannot tell you the relief there was in honestly being able to just say no, no i didn't.
keep going.
you're doing it.