So sorry you are feeling this. I can remember trying every way I could figure to make him hear me and 'get it'. To make a difference. So many times I just got so frustrated and then would scream at the top of my lungs to be heard... Got nothing out of that but a sore throat. I tried nice, sweet, empathetic, understanding, detached, pissed, foot down, walk away. Nothing worked. Someone wrote on here once that resonated w/me: consider you"ve said everyhing -he's heard it all.. He just doesn't want to do anything with it.
In my experience - xabf couldn't or wouldn't deal w/ real life stuff-has the emotional maturity of a 12 year old. And so he would react accordingly.