Theodore, just a suggestion to maybe consider. Why not set yourself a goal of one year of clean time and then see how you feel . This way , you give yourself a chance to go through fully allowing the brain to heal, restoring you back to your "true" self and seeing how that feels. If you still feel that incredible urge to indulge " ocassionally" , then go for it. You may have a chance to go recreational after a year without falling into a stoner again. And you may discover you don't need nor want to do it at all, like WB after a year. But at least you gave yourself that gift of knowing your true self again and making decisions from that place. Just a thought. And if it was me, I would burn that dealer number Today!