Hello Seren
i guess i am doing alright. i am strong. i do what i have to do, i dont know any other way. my little family is well. the boys are doing really good. last night the youngest talked about his dad but he is not asking me to talk to him, he has stopped asking to see him. he doesnt talk about him too much anymore. it still hurts me when he does. i just answer him if he asks a question. i just say really, if he is just talking.
i dont think i will ever understand how XAH could do the things he did or why. sometimes i find some missing puzzle pieces but there are still many missing pieces. it just doesnt make sense. i am slowly healing and dealing with my insecurities whether i want to or not. life goes on. finding this site was super helpful. some of the craziness i was dealing with for the last 14 years is making more sense. it doesnt change anything thou but at least i can say "ah ha, THAT is why he _________"
i still think it is super sad. he choice to walk away and abandon a loving (not perfect but good) wife and wonderful adoring trusting children. today, i am in a "It Just Doesnt Matter" mood. everything i did for him the past 14 years,,,,just doesnt matter to him. anything he could say or do.....just doesnt matter. the reasons he did what he did.....just doesnt matter. Those days are coming more and more. i still have my bad days where i cry (not in front of the boys) and feel badly that he is so happy with the desperate, evil, homewrecker who would not honor her own vows and children AND yet seems to be perfectly happy and content with MY xhusband.
i dont think i would care if he was to move on with someone else but it kills me that he is moving on WITH HER!!!! i have never hated someone so much in my life as i do THAT woman. of course a lot has to do with her actions and disrespect to me AFTER i found out about her.
thank you for asking about me.