Sorry about the loss of your mother. When my mom died, my drinking went off the rails and I didn't stop for three more years.
Originally Posted by
BasebalFan 
On my nights off, I would drink the customary 14 light beers over 3 hours and food in the morning/early afternoon and then go out again for 10-14 more light beers about 10pm...again with food. Never have I drank at home. For me it is social in nature, if not amounts.
You can call it social drinking, but it's not. Only the setting was social. The drinking is not, not those amounts.
I hope you'll give thought to staying away from the bars. Almost everyone here, at some point, has found themselves overwhelmed by the urge to drink. Being one waitress hail away from a beer is not the way to conquer such cravings.
But it's your sober journey. Let us know how it continues.