I agree with you searching peace, I know I should be careful. But with people like that, things happen regardless. I can say I had a very good Saturday and decent Sunday, till 7 pm. He flipped.
Now, considering everything again, I am absolutely positive he wanted me to hit him. What would have happened If I did, God knows. But I was stronger and better. You see, I started grooming myself again, to be healthy and pretty to myself, so that is probably where this cheating phobia came from. Again, irrelevant. I'm done. Living in fear is no life.
It was funny when he said about the letter, "this shows what kind of person you are." Oh pleaaase.
Well, I'll be strong and careful and patient, and full of optimism.
And about the kids, yes, it is better we never had them, but I should have seen the red flags years ago and left earlier.