it was the other woman that broke the camels back so to speak. i would have NEVER given up. i would have NEVER gotten a divorce without her disrespecting me and manipulating him. (of course he let her) i would have keep "TRYING". in my mind, we "could have" worked it out. of course he would have had to be willing to get help but i would have waited forever. and gone on the roller coaster of recovery.
i am still not at a point where i am THANKFUL for her interference and home wrecking. i hate her with a passion that i never had for anyone else. it kills me that they are still together and seemingly doing well. i miss the old him. But we are doing okay. the kids are doing much better after 9 months of no contact initiated by him (her). and i cant deny the peace in the household now that we dont have to deal with the drunken crazy anymore. the crazy is just in my head, and i dont talk to the kids about it, i dont talk to anyone about it. i just need to get to the point where i accept that i am NOTHING to him. But life goes on and we are doing okay day by day. i am sure the pain in my heart and the thoughts in my head will stop some day. the pain is less as time goes on.