dandylion, I have expressed myself but admittedly, not very well sometimes. He won't talk to me but he doesn't want me to leave. He won't just tell me what it is he DOES want. And I am just very worried about pushing him too far. I do not "fixate" on him as speculated. And I do not hold his sobriety as my responsibility. His attempt to make me feel guilty failed where as it would have worked before. On the other hand, I don't ever want to be a threat to it.
I am in Al-Anon but am currently without a sponsor as she quit. I am looking for another one. I am on Step 9.