Do you have a sponsor? Are you working a program in Alanon? Where are you at in the steps? Does that seem intrusive? It does to me.
His program is his business, whether he's working it or not is his business. Your business is to understand why you have become so fixated on him and his drinking/sobriety and have accepted a relationship with a man who doesn't seem capable of having a mature adult relationship whether he's drinking or not.