[QUOTE=LexieCat;5289255]Is there a reason you feel you must continue to hang in there, in spite of the fact that the relationship is painful to you?
My point of view is that we just had a difficult year. Every long-term relationship has rough times. I have owned up to the things I could do better and he KNOWS things he is doing are wrong. He tells me he won't do these things anymore but then still does them. I guess the reason I attach these things to his drinking is because he hasn't behaved this way since he stopped drinking. We were a little distant from each other but the things I mentioned that he's doing have only been in the past 5 months. We got into a fight last weekend about the ex and he left the house to go to his AA club. It is a place that he has access to all the time and there is almost always friends of his there. When he got home, he claimed he went to a bar and tried to order a drink but some friends stopped him and he played pool for a couple hours. The truth is, he did go to his club, not a bar. He tried to make me feel guilty that he almost drank even though it wasn't true.
When I ask him if he wants me to leave, he doesn't. So neither of us is so unhappy that we want to break up. I brought up couples counseling today and he didn't completely shoot it down like I expected him to. So I guess that's a good sign. I just worry that he won't be honest with the counselor either. The lying and denial, again, are things that he hasn't done since he found sobriety. Is it ever okay to address a sponsor with concerns?