Great post , Theodore ! Thanks for sharing ! I can relate so much to a lot of the things you said, for sure. And I think many have that big struggle with the desire to quit being a pothead and become a recreational smoker again, doing it occasionally . That's a tough one . I know I've struggled with that idea too. I read a book on alcoholics, most who totally quit because they knew they HAD to to change their life and there were a few that went back to limited drinking after being sober for a few years, so it really depends on the person. But I do believe you need to be clean from pot for a long time before attempting any kind of controlled use. Even then, most know they can't open that door ever or else it'll swing right back open again to full time smoking. So, you really need to know yourself, but only after a LONG time clean. Many of the things you used pot for need to be replaced with healthy means first, like how do I handle my stress now ? How do I handle boredom, loniliness now ? What new, ihealthy skills do I need to learn ? I also think the desire to escape or to runaway mentally for whatever reason needs be handled in healthy ,new ways too. Like Dee said, it's rebuilding a healthy Life with new healthy ways to cope and enjoy it. And after doing all that, like Dee , you may not even want to get high anymore because you've created a fulfilling life for yourself. Keep coming back and sharing your feelings -we're all working on the same project.