When I first left my AH, I very much felt what you are feeling and I let myself be paralyzed by it for a long time. I wallowed in it and it took over. I had to be very methodical and deliberate in getting moving again because to my surprise and angst, the whole world didn't stop moving while I languished and grieved. My heart is with you. Giving up on someone you love is super, super hard. But I realized my AH isn't the person I loved anymore and may never be again. How long was I willing to set my life aside and suffer the consequences to possibly find out years into the future I was fighting a battle neither of us would never win and if I couldn't have saved him, I could have at least saved my kids and myself? That unknown became a bigger fear than losing him. The fear of suffering with him and my children suffering with him and losing all those years with him had to be greater than the fear of losing him. So I set myself on a path of constantly reminding myself of what I needed to be happy in my life and the further I went down that path, the further he was left in the distance because he chose to be left behind. I had to do it for my kids and myself no matter how long the short term pain was and sometimes still is if I allow myself to dwell on it. In hindsight now, what is a year of pain in my life compared to a lifetime of it had I chosen to stay married? It's a drop in the bucket. My advice, as soon as possible, write everything down you need to get done and/or should do. Even put down take a shower, go get groceries, call my friend. Do this every evening. Put it on the calendar. Cross it off once you've done it. In the first days, it helps keep your basic priorities straight because believe me, I know how hard it is to brush your teeth when your mind is probably racing and I'm not just saying this to be funny, I'm totally serious. Start there with the real simple things and work your way up to everyday adding one more thing you can accomplish. It will make you feel like you are getting your homework done and taking care of yourself and that will lead to bigger and better things and keep you on track. Good luck and best wishes!