Breathe. Believe me when I say that if I had the power of Zeus there are days I'd throwing lightening bolts at people like I pitched for the NY Yankees. You have been betrayed, used, lied to and cheated of a whole family. He is so indiscreet as to bring his children into it to give it an air of respectability. To top it off it seems like the ass hat and skankzilla are being rewarded for it. Not so. He may sip coffee in front of her, but you know as well as we do the secret cans don't stay secret for long and missy mistress will get her self an avatar and join our little family. The kids do need to respect their dads privacy and not tell you things. And you need to not ask.
Don't cheat yourself out of even more than you've already lost. Life can be grand if you let it. It really wants to be! I wish I could say I had a great guy. I will again and I will cherish him the more because of what I just got out of. Love him for who HE is not for who your exah is. That's not ex alcoholic husband. That's ex ass hat. It's my new abbreviation. I rather think it's accurate. (((Hugs)))