Hey everyone, I'm sorry I haven't been on to give an update for so long. Here's a little bit of what's been going on the last week and a half...
I got him an appointment at a recovery center last Friday, it's over an hour away and it's all outpatient, but it's the only one around here that will take his new Medicaid and is accepting new patients. I took him to his appointment, he did all of his paperwork, took his drug test and was told to call Monday morning to schedule his appointment with the doctor to begin the program. Well, we called Monday morning, and when I spoke with the director, she informed me that they aren't actually accepting new clients and he is going on a waiting list. Seriously?! Again?! I keep running into this issue, heroin is such an epidemic around here that resources are very limited. It's so frustrating.
Anyway, he came home last weekend so we could talk and I agreed to let him stay. He told me that he had bought some Suboxone and was going to try this again. I was angry that he bought them, but in a way I was relieved, at least it wasn't heroin... He had 5 strips and was taking a quarter of one in the morning, afternoon and at night. It's not ideal, but if this is what he needed to do for a few days, then I was ok with it.
I got him into our family physician day before yesterday in hopes of getting some help on what to do next. He told the doctor everything, but it was obvious that he had never had a patient in this situation before, as he just stared in awe. With no experience with someone battling a heroin addiction, he wasn't sure what to do. He started him on Wellbutrin and a sleeping pill, and told him to come back in 2 weeks for a follow up, so we'll see how that goes.
As for the Suboxone, he's doing pretty well with it. He started taking 3/4 of a strip each day for the first 2 days, then just a half (one quarter in the morning, one quarter at night) for about 3 days, then just one quarter in the morning. Yesterday was the first day he didn't take any, he slept a lot, but his body didn't hurt and he was able to eat, he didn't throw up, nothing! I know it is important that we take it one day at a time, but I was relieved that yesterday went smoothly. Today is a new day, anything could happen, but I'm optimistic. There is still some Suboxone left, but I hope he doesn't need it. He's doing great right now, I am praying for him to continue being strong.
He is such a good man, a good father, a great provider who would give up anything for his family, he would go without so that we wouldn't have to, he's wonderful. I've been with him since I graduated high school, he's my whole life and I hope that I am finally getting him back. When I found out he says using, it hurt so much, I felt like I had been replaced by something he loved more than me. I can't compete with something I can't even completely understand, I can't make him love me more than heroin. I'm just glad he's trying so hard to fight back and not let this control him anymore, heroin has had him long enough, I want him back now. Together we will win this battle, I know we will.
I promise to keep everyone updated, thank you all for everything, I send my love to each of you!
((hugs)) ♥