free....."I just can't live my life waiting for a fallout".......Of course not!! Just waiting for the old familiar to reappear again.....that is no way to live, in my opinion.
My best advice would be to take steps toward building something new for you.
Some new relationships and activities that have nothing to do with him OR your children.
I realize that you have school...but, school is work "All school and no Free makes Free a dull girl".
You will need a life for yourself that is not totally woven around those that you care take for.
Care taking can become so all consuming---therefore, very isolating.
It is a trap that so many fall into.
dandylion