Hi all don't know if you all remember me? Alcoholic ex husband cheated and left, found a new woman and cheated on new woman with girl he cheated on me with. That's my background. I was left broken and now I think I still am.
The ex is now in a full blown relationship with the h**r he cheated in me and his new gf with (I hate her as she knew he was married with 2 small children). The ex husband continued from may 2013 until October 2014 claiming he had nothing to do with her.
The kids have been seeing him at his parents home. He has now started having them weekends at his flat or h**rs home. Conditions he doesn't dd kids around or take them to pubs and he hasnt as kids tell me. Yes he drinks numerous cans when he has the kids but his body is that used to it he functions.
I should be pleased he's trying with the kids. Instead I have crumbled. Now I get to hear about her stunning massive home, how pretty she is, how nice she is, her x 3 horses, how daddy cuddles her and tells her he loves her, how he drinks coffee around her and yet gulps can after can when alone.
The ex was supposed to have kids last weekend and I now get to hear that he has took her to Vegas. He lied to me telling me he had a training course. I have sent him a text saying I am not his childminder for his kids so he can take his h**r and his cheating alkie self away on holiday. How childish of me but looking on his facebook at them in Vegas has killed me...... He has put weight on and looks so hAppy. I sit here bitter, resentful with tears rolling down my face as I hate them both.
Me?.... I have been actively destroying my life since I found out that that he has always been in contact with her. Knowing he cheated on me and his gf after with her. She is getting the Vegas holidays, they look happy while I can't afford a holiday to Spain (I am from the uk).
I met a healthy man in December and have been destroying out relationship . The more I get to hear about him and the family wrecker, the more I take it out on this genuine healthy man who adores me. I cannot get feelings for anyone. I did get feelings for the new person but they are gone.... Lost as I want to destroy my ex and his H**r. As time goes on I believe I can't love again. I never loved anyone as much as my ex hubby. He posts pics on facebook of them while I am alone thinking if my life involves not being able to feel love for someone again then I don't want it. I cannot shake my anger. I have tried. I go to counselling and alanon. I adored my husband, tried to get him to stop drinking and now he makes an effort drinking coffee for her(only drank cans with me).
I Sm on self destruct. I am embarrassed to say that since November and finding out about them I started having one night stands (using protection). This is not me!!! I am pushing my healthy man away.... I appear not to care and at the moment I don't! The feelings I had are diminishing and I just want to go out and flirt/pull men. My ex called me derogatory names like leather faced crow and the attention off men temporarily fills the void.
I am now a cheat! I do not care the slightest about me. All I want is for my dx and her to destroy each other. Life has no meaning and seeing them happy is sending me into an uncontrollable tearful rage. Life isn't fair. I deserve to be happy but my I don't care attitude enables me to have no feelings, to walk over men and they cannot hurt me. What's happening here?
