CarmenLove, there is no painless way to go through this, of course it hurts terribly to lose your dreams of what might have been.
But if you read around you will see what you could expect if you remained in a marriage with active addiction and sadly it gets worse over time. Let his actions, not his words, help you decide where to go from here.
Meetings have helped many of us find our balance again, Al-anon, Nar-anon or CoDA are three similar fellowships that are about us and learning how to live a healthy happy life...regardless of what we have come from. Maybe give them a try and see if they don't help you too.
Although it hurts right now, I promise that it will get better with time. Living alone is more peaceful than living with active addiction.
Please know that whatever path you choose, we are all walking with you and we care.
Hugs