Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
The thing is, though, you are not in a position to negotiate what is, and isn't, fair unless you both know what exists.
This is the basis of fairness. You know each other's assets and you make your compromises and decisions accordingly.
I originally made a verbal agreement with my EXH which seemed fair at the time but when I had to get a lawyer's opinion before it was ratified by the court, I realised I was entitled to about double that amount.
By then my EXH had moved on and was engaged, and I realised I wasn't just being nice to him, but to his new partner as well. Whole different thing!
It was unpleasant for a short period, but now, years later, we all get on really well and there are no hidden resentments.