Dear Bella, it is so difficult when its No Contact, because we always imagine the worst. I went on auto-pilot at work for the entire 3 months, and there was this under current in my consciousness that was a seeking for my son. Even now that I know where he is, there is sadness because of so much trauma in our lives in the past. I continually give it to God, and allow the sadness, acknowledge it, and then go back to the auto-pilot if I need to. SR is my lifeline and sometimes it helps to support others and it lightens my burden. Big Huge Hugs
TT