Rather than give you a speculative answer to your question, I think it better to try and explain the workings of an alcoholic brain. The alcoholic brain is not logical. My mother would frequently ask me, "why do you not call your sponsor instead of going to a liquor store?" I would try and explain to her that she didn't understand what it was like to know you're doing something harmful to yourself, yet your body demands that you do it. It would just go over her head. I can't give you an answer that will sound logical to you because there isn't one. That is just the nature of addiction. The addict is not unaware they're doing something they shouldn't. They just can't help it.