It's just so sad. When it's all said and done we are left with a deep sadness.
There are many times I cope without talking at all. I can't talk and cope at the same time until I finally let out a big burst of conversation and then I'm done until next time.
Not talking is a part of my defense mechanism. One problem is that I only have the same thing to say that I've already said numerous times and it's just a repeat. I don't feel that anyone wants to listen anymore. The same pain remains and I really do need to talk about it. Talking makes it feel better until it builds up again. I don't know how to make that pain go away when my child is in active addiction. I can only distract myself at times so I don't concentrate on it.
Having no contact is the hardest. That really causes our hearts to ache. I'm not very good at letting go. My grief gets stuck in the middle when it comes to my kids and grandkids.