Hi Katchie and hugs ((()))))
Obviously before you and you husband could successfully reconcile there is much that would need to be worked through. I think you are comfortable in your decision for some things:
1) You do not want to live with him at this time
2) You would need to see a real dedication to sobriety this time, AND significant time of his maintaining sobriety.
Why not take divorce and its discussion off the table, even in your head? There is a third component (and probably more), and that is working through a myriad of things that he has done to you and your family. But, if 1 & 2 never happen 3, 4, 5....they don't matter anyway.
He might meet actions 1 & 2 and you are still done anyway.
I can't remember if you are seeing a therapist. If not it might be a good idea for you to see one by yourself to work through the rape and other things for YOU, not for him.. I'm really sorry that happened to you.
Remember more will be revealed it always is. I think when and if you are absolutely done with him (if you get there) you will know it, and there will be no questioning if its the right thing. You may feel that way today.
I think this is all quite normal. Its hard to divorce. and its a lengthy marriage. It would be easier if he was nasty or went back to old habits. Perhaps you have some guilt feeling you owe it to him to try. Who knows.