RD- treat it like hes your drug, your addiction. You can't have drugs(him), as u are just feeding your addiction. You get mad at yourself when you do have contact, as you always get hurt, stay away!!
Its just as hard for you to stop your addiction as it is for an A to stop drinking. You are posting and reaching out, you are working your program!! You can do this, as you already are. Hugs my friend, these episodes will pass.