Thanks, Big S. Your post resonated with me.
Right out of college, I made a new friends in the city where I relocated and many of their friends became my own. One was always a friend (never more) who was a long-standing part of the gang and I would see him fairly often for the better part of a dozen years or so. Early on, we were all whooping it up and I didn't know that there was a problem running deeper for him.
Before then, he'd been part of the hot, hot, hot tech scene in Texas; later, I learned his star had already fallen because of his drinking when he returned to his home state and rejoined the old gang. Had his life followed a different path, who knows what he'd have achieved? There must have been a time in his life when it seemed he had it all -- witty, charming, whip-smart and at the top of his field. Concurrently, his equally talented brother's star kept rising -- he has gone on to reach the apex of his own niche in the software world, renowned for pioneering accomplishments that continue today.
Some years back, ties were cut after he created an embarrassing, very public scene while with some of the friends for whom it was justifiably the last straw. We heard things worsened from there. Then, he resurfaced seven or so years ago, sober. I saw him a few times at social events. We were all hopeful that he was turning things around. Then he wasn't sober -- again. Ties were severed, permanently this time, after some hurtful remarks to a friend. As time went by, we heard he basically had shut himself off completely, drinking non-stop.
Until it killed him, dying alone, his body undiscovered for several days. It was the first time I'd heard of esophageal hemorrhage.
It was an eye-opener. He was only seven years older than me. A crying shame.
Knowing then that I had a drinking problem, I'd like to say that his death was the much-needed impetus for me to quit. It took another four-plus years.