I am here in Costa Rica on vacation with my husband and daughter. First of all let me say I know I am fortunate to escape the NE cold, but to be honest I would prefer the cold over the 95 degree heat.
We are all staying in one room which would not be a problem except that my husband snores…really really bad. He is not overweight, in fact he is in great shape. I have spent 3 nights on a cot mattress on the bathroom floor trying to avoid his noise, he did one night on the cot and only moved it into the tiny hall so it wasn't any help. The problem is when I shut the door there is no AC so I either roast or lay there in hell listening to him. The place we are at is full, we have asked every day if there is any availability for a room change to no avail.
One of my issues before I got sober was Ambien and Klonopin. I have a sleep disorder and also an autoimmune condition that is aggravated exponentially when I don't get sleep. I am also turning 50 so I am graced with hot flashes at night which are really annoying. Sleep is, and always has been, elusive for me.
I love cold weather, I went to college in Vermont. 95 degree heat overwhelms me. I usually would go walk for a few hours but because we are at a placed that was carved into the mountains I can't go anywhere really. We also happened (by chance) to have overlapped with one of my daughter's very good friends from school who just found out she and her sisters all have lice..so there was a concern that my daughter might as well. I absolutely know that is not anyone's fault but it seemed to increase my anxiety as I was laying there sweating at 4am last night. I can't get up in the middle of the night and go anywhere, or turn on lights because I would wake husband and daughter…so I am feeling really trapped.
There is a lot of unpleasant tension between my husband and me right now. He knows this is an issue but he is feeling defensive because he booked this beautiful trip. When I don't get enough sleep I feel like I have the worst hangover on earth. In the past I would have just drugged or drank myself to sleep. I am furious because he promised me during family week at rehab (almost 2 years ago) that he would follow up with this. He made one phone call to a doctor and that was it. I feel like I followed through with everything I promised and being exhausted and resentful is not a good place. I should have known to have an exit strategy but I have missed a lot during new sobriety so I was trying to "say yes".
We are here until Friday. The trip back to the airport is treacherous so I am hesitant to try to go back alone. I have seriously been googling "snoring and divorce" it is that bad.
I am not going to drink over this but I feel like I might explode from feeling so trapped. I had expressed anxiety about this scenario to my therapist before I left. I am so annoyed at my husband who loves the heat, puts his head on the pillow and falls asleep, doesn't have any medical conditions that exhaust him. This trip is making me resent Joe Perfect, and I know he is resenting Harriet High Maintenance. We have been married almost 20 years but I am not seeing that I am going to get over this soon…. I feel like I am suffering the fallout from his issue and he is not accepting responsibility for it.
This is mostly a rant but if anyone has a suggestion (or can come rescue me
)..I am feeling pretty alone.