Yogagurl, thank you so much for your post. It has been 2 months since my xaBF dumped me after he completed rehab. Over the last year I've read a ton here on SR, online, attend Alanon now and Naranon in the past and yet I still struggle with getting past the pain. Not just the pain of the relationship ending as it did, but from all that I went through. The CONSTANT lies, the betrayal, watching him destroy himself in front of my eyes, I got to the point where my emotions were out of control. I would go from the spectrum listed...being crazy with worry, then anger, the guilt, then numb, then hopeful, then in denial...the cycle just kept repeating. And, even though I know I am so much better off not being with him, it still doesn't minimize my pain.
Thank you for sharing the link, as well. It makes me realize I have to give myself a little more credit and time and know that I am doing the best that I can. I get so angry that I cannot just "get over it" like he has. I just feel that I gave him every ounce of my energy to "help" him and it was based on all the lies that he told me to keep me around. And the way he cut me out, by stonewalling me, that IS emotional abuse. It was ALL emotional abuse.
You inspire me to keep going, to keep working on me and to see that recovering from all of this is possible. Hugs to you!