Still in the healing process, still learning how to do things other than to obsess with the whereabouts and well being of my EXAH. Finding things to take up the space where I was making phone calls and tracking money and picking up pawned tools. Still figuring out what to do with all this energy I have since I'm sleeping at night.
Been looking a lot into PTSD and how there are similar symptoms with people who have been in abusive relationships, whether it's a physical or an emotionally abusive relationship. I realize this forum speaks to substance abuse, not domestic abuse, but I feel they kind of go hand in hand since there is such a wide range of emotional outbursts associated with withdrawal. At least, there was for me. If I didn't enable, I was emotionally beaten. A couple of times, there was physical.
Anyways (I'm all over the place), just an observation about the trauma you may face when you are linked in closely with an active addict - some experience fear to the point of terror, worry, sleep loss, gas lighting, copious amounts of dishonesty, empty promises, hopeful wishes that never get fulfilled. What I have learned is that there is actual psychological trauma that needs to be overcome when you have been so close to all this. I was trying to look up a resourceful and reliable definition for psychological trauma and this is what I found:
http://www.sidran.org/resources/for-survivors-and-loved-ones/what-is-psychological-trauma/
Eggshells, nausea, anxiety, flashbacks, bursts of depression, numbness, confusion - can we call a codependent relationship a traumatic one by default once the codie steps away? Surely losing your identity in the life of another person is traumatic and that's kind of the ground work for codependency, am I correct?
It may just be me, but I thought I would share some of the things I have discovered about my journey and resources that were helping me to understand why I am experiencing the physical and emotional aftermath of being married to an addict. I just thought maybe someone else out there would be able to resonate with this too......