Originally Posted by SamLacey

Hello.

My name's Samantha, I'm from England but live in Germany. I've had a drinking problem for about 15 years. It's had all kinds of disastrous consequences...arrested, hospitalised, lost friends, family, jobs, everyone and everything. I went to a therapy for 6 weeks. It kind of helped. I didn't drink for 6 months. Then I started again with the odd tipple, just to see if I could drink responsibly and only have one or two...of course that didn't work. Now, I'm back to the point where I wake up in the morning and have a huge drink, then drink all day and try to control it and cover my breath with mints and hide the alcohol everywhere. I'm now at breaking point. I think it's going to kill me and I have lost absolutely everything. I don't know why I do this, or how to get out of it. So far today my day has been waking up, having a bottle of wine in the bath, now I'm just waiting for it to get dark so I can spend the evening in bed drinking, crying and being alone. I have no more alcohol left so will have to go out and get some. That will be the highlight of my day. For now, I just wish I had a bottle of vodka next to me. Urgh. Thank you for listening!