Hi.
I identify with much reading your post. I didn’t recognize very much in the beginning about MY undisciplined living along with my self centeredness this and other characteristics like isolation, resentments fear and feelings I drank to conceal.
I resisted AA for too long because of ignorant reasoning on my part.
Finally when I got sick and tired of being sick and tired with a lot of prodding I became honest with myself about my drinking and accepted the fact I cannot drink in safety one day at a time in a row.
As stated above we get and stay sober our self with the help of going to meetings and practicing the program of the 12 steps. We get personal encouragement to stay sober and helping other alcoholics we help them and ourselves.
Yes it’s work many are not used to but is so rewarding as we proceed in a healthy lifestyle.
I started many years ago and am still far from perfect so continue to go to hear the pearls I need.
BE WELL