Hi SoberGirl, I completely understand your sentiments regarding AA. I never got any better while going to AA because alcohol was still front and center, in this case the not consuming of it. I didn't try rational recovery for the same reason. Where I succeeded was making alcohol irrelevant to my life by creating new social circles that had nothing to do with drinking or not drinking.
That said, do you have insurance or Medicaid? While I have many criticisms of the treatment industry, I personally would have been unable to stop had I not taken that first step of admitting that I can't do it myself. Treatment gave me the tools to stop flailing about trying to get sober on my own and give me some real tools for sobriety. From what you've said I think continues advice to "work the steps" is flogging a dead horse. At least it was for me, so there's nothing wrong if it is.