I hear you ive been in the same boat for to long now. Im just trying to stay busy as possible when i have free time all i can think about is drinking. I get so angry at myself because i let myself get like this. I should be starving for alcohol it just made my life terrible its not fun anymore im not sure if it actually ever was. But hang in there i feel just like you do. But becoming sober and not drinking is whats best for us right now theres no magic that makes us stop its actually so simple dont drink but yet so hard.