To all here who have shared their pain.... I think this thread hit home for alot of us because we spend so much time justifying our decisions to stay to our friends and family who care deeply about us. It is hard to understand why anyone would stay and suffer what truly is a horrific existence.
I know there are many situations I have read where I say to myself "holy cow! Why are you still there?" but then I have to remember we are only hearing the bad...and sometimes after enough yrs of addiction, the spouse only SEES the bad. We are all different...and we all have different reasons for staying. Some people have posted that they left after a short time and I wonder if they really gave the A a fair chance? I tend to read each situation through my own eyes and my own life. When I do this and then allow myself to judge, I have failed in my attempts to be helpful to anyone, including myself.
I am glad I stayed....but my time was much shorter than many of you. My husband is such a great person and I wanted him to succeed for him as much as for me. He has so much to offer the world. If he relapses, I do not know what I would do. One day is one thing, but he seriously jumped back into his addiction I think I would be right back on the rollercoaster.
I love this forum because it is the ONLY place where I can discuss what happened without people judging me harshly for choosing to stay. I love that you all lend a hand and even when you get upset about something, almost everyone comes back and posts with love and apologies. We are all works in progress
I thank God for this forum and for all of you