Welcome. I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time right now. There is a secular recovery forum on this site and links to a lot of useful resources. I am agnostic and definitely turned off from the Higher Power focus in AA, but I still use some of the steps and alot of the coping skills that I picked up there. The best part of AA is fellowship. Detox at home? Can be done, i guess it depends on your physical condition and level of addiction. Best to see your doctor first.