soberforbaby

I started drinking after a year. I wasn't that content during my year sober because of so much other stress in my life. But now I know drinking just made it way worse.

I don't think I can do AA because I am 100% athiest. What an addictive drug ethanol is. I've smoked, smoked marihuana, done many other substances.

It's a great escape. My cousin just died alone at home from drinking. 50 years old. Heart just stopped. Alone with 3 dogs.

I always thought I could go sober for a long time then drink in moderation after a few years sober. I don't think I'm capable of that.

I hear a lot about mental issues and depression etc. I think we have to be sober for a month and exercise every day before we can post about mental illness.

Using this board as the shrink I cannot afford. I almost cheated on my wife drunk this month. She is the love of my life and I should be the happiest person in the world. I have every thing I ever dreamed of with her. Kids, cuddles, love, happy in bedroom.

It is like I'm trying to sabotage it because I hate myself so much for what I am.

I will wake up when my wife is nursing at 5AM and go have a drink just to start the day off.

I am worried about detox. Has anyone ever done it in steps at home? Anyway. Don't want sympathy. If anything I want to pat the backs of you folks who have had the guts to sober up.

Take care