I haven't had the chance to read through everyone's posts so I apologize if I'm repeating someone, but the best advice anyone has ever given me on SR is that relapse is not part of recovery, it's part of the addiction.
So I agree to some extent that by saying its a relapse, you're enabling yourself by telling yourself it's inevitable, part of the process of getting sober, etc. But, if you accept that relapsing isn't part of recovery and getting sober and that it is your AV justifying your drinking, the word relapse will just be another thing (like drinking) that you don't do anymore. That was the hardest part for me to accept.
I hope you are doing well Calicofish.