All the people I hurt or whose trust I betrayed are hurting and distrusting because of what that "other guy" did. This isn't my way of trying to wriggle out of any culpability - I became that other person knowing full well what the outcome would be and that it wouldn't be good for me or anyone else - but it is interesting that it's when I'm back in control of my faculties that I really have hell to pay! And it's when I'm the real me that I feel all the associated guilt, shame, and remorse, with no escape hatch.
its insanity really. It makes absolutly no sense why someone would drink something like booze have it make them feel the way it does have it cause them to do the things they will do. Then to get up and do it all over again?
its irrational and makes little sense. So its hard to try and make any sense out of it.
Humans are bad about stuff like this and its not just limited to booze. Our short term memory is like just not there. I did this it made me feel that way and i did it again.
I for eample ate a very salty meal last night. I new better I new it would make me feel crummy today. But I did it anyhow I basicly lost control and did it anyhow Knowing full well the outcome would stink!
But its ok I'm only human.
it really is like a jekyl and hyde kinda thing. You cant blame yourself for everything though. if your not of your sound right mind and you do some stupid stuff not much you can do about that. Just try not to consume booze again while your of your right mind.