MrsD...if you are hanging on because you really want him to get help and stop drinking so that you can save the marriage.....it may be a very long time before he decides he wants sobriety to truly work at it.
He doesn't sound very motivated, right now.
Either way...you still have to sort yourself out and get some personal clarity for yourself.
I hope that you CAN find an alanon group that you can get to. Many of the churches have a group called Celebrate Recovery that you might also like.
A personal therapist (knowledgable about addictions) can also give you the support that y ou need (in addition to the group).
SR, of course---but, he is going to do what he is going to do---but you need support.
Just keep reading the other stories of the thousands before you who have been in the same kind of dilemma.
There is a way through this.
dandylion