It was not offensive to me, but thank you, Robby
I know, Trach, that you meant it well, it is true that our presence matters... I seriously think about these things each time I need to make such a decision, think many times before I decide. I also considered moving there to be with him for a while. The thing is, I'm much less flexible to do whatever I want spontaneously at this point in my life, have responsibilities and others depending on me in different places. Of course I could say that I prioritize my dad no matter what, and I did several times, but doing it always in spontaneous ways also cuts into my own life and into the other things (and people) that matter to me a lot, so it's not exactly simple. It's always very difficult for me to make these decisions, and I've learned to seek help with them when they are due, in order to not be overly biased and subjective, but the truth is that these decisions need to involve the consideration of many factors for me. I need to split my attention between a few things, however I dislike splitting it that way.
I think I'll revisit the idea of hiring someone to care for my dad though, I will discuss it with him when we see each-other. He seems very resistant to it, but he was also resistant to asking others to help him initially... and now he likes the help. I easily get this because we are very similar this way, always want to be self-sufficient and it's extremely hard to give up this autonomy. But sometimes it works against us, it did also for me, for example when I hesitated for years to seek help about my alcoholism and admit it was far beyond my control. I guess old age is similar in some ways, and yet I would never force myself or anything on anyone, I just can't, absolutely out of character for me. I will discuss it with him again, in a different way, I learned a lot from some of the responses you guys gave me here. I think a lot of the resistance is coming from habit and especially people at his age are not easily open to drastic lifestyle changes, even if they would be helpful, as it was pointed out earlier on this thread. But whatever is the issue, I don't think I would ever push him to go somewhere or do something he does not want, I really think that for someone at his age, possibly living a few days, weeks, or even perhaps a few months longer is simply just irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. And while I'm definitely quite attached to him, I would never let this attachment get in the way of his freedom to decide how he wants to live... or die.
Thank you again, everyone, for all the good advice and wonderful support, I can't express it properly how much I appreciate it.