healthyagain

The meaning and importance of detachment. It is not only letting another person be responsible for his/her own actions. Detachment also inevitably leads to slow awakening, as you detach from your own negative emotions and start seeing everything more clearly. Your past, present, future. It helps reduce the stress that makes one paralyzed and unable to act. You start thinking again. You start seeing the way out.

So this weekend was lonely, but it is ok, I like it that way. There was a St. Patrick's Day parade in town, and I told husband that I wanted to go (it was absolutely irrelevant whether he wanted to go or not). So, he got up late, and I asked him if it would be ok that I go by myself. He got all upset about it (but he would be upset even if he went with me, because you see, he hates people and crowds, and this town and blah blah). So, basically, whatever I do, whatever I desire, he will be moody.

Anyway, I went to the little parade and had a good time. It felt good being alone. I did not feel like going home. When I came back, I took my dog out for a long walk. And then in the evening, we had another one and a game of fetch, and it felt great.

In the meantime, AH prepared a pity party, which, thanks goodness, I did not care about and go to.

This morning I wrote an email to an attorney. I never got called back from the legal organization, so I found the main guy and asked about the further steps.

Two years ago, I was literary running away for walks to avoid fights with my husband. And these walks were one fragment of my detachment. And then, one day, I found the strength and desire to talk to people. And I was not embarrassed anymore, because I did not cause it and certainly cannot change it or cure it. But, AH and his addiction cannot control me.