I've never thought that the OP I put out would result in the quantity and quality of responses I'm seeing. Seriously. It's reinforced my belief in friendship, which wasn't a shaky ground to start with, but now even stronger
Thank you all, very much
In terms of maybe going there to be with my dad
right now - I did that sort of thing before, a few times. No problem financially, but I just don't see how that might improve anything at this point. We've been through so much together, including the endless analysis of our relationship, which I'm continuing now in pretty hardcore ways in therapy. Of course I could be with/for him today or tomorrow, and I would not resist this, it's just that we have already done this several times before, and my being right there only brings the same things to him.
I have a job interview in Asia (I've never been to that part of the world!) I'm seriously stressing about, in ~10 days. I will spend 2 days with my dad before the interview, and a week after. I'll see the some of the "devastation" of his garden (it's my property now, but I give my dad 100% control in whatever he wants to do with it).
The thing is, I just don't think that any further direct assistance on my part (more than what I do and described) could make this easier for my father. Yes I could be there and maybe hold him on his death bed, but the sacrifices involved in being able to do this would seriously interfere with my own life, and I don't think he would want that to happen. Maybe egotistic. I don't know.
Thank you so much for the feedback and support, friends
I think soberwolf mentioned a couple days ago the death of Terry Pratchett -- someone I admired. Similarly, Sherwin Nuland, a brilliant doctor and author, just passed a few days ago. His book
How We Die is something I would recommend to anyone interested in the topic.
Thanks everyone, again