My parents are aged 83 and 84 and in gradual health decline to a point that my sister and I have looked into transitioning them into an appropriate home to meet their medical needs and safety. Hard choices indeed. Mom and Dad are of course fearful of what is happening. To be honest, I am too, although my fears are for my parents wellness and quality of life.
It can feel helpless and frustrating when helping with problem solving the many personal challenges of my parents winter years. They have not well prepared themselves, and so they feel disappointed in themselves.
haennie, from this thread and some earlier ones, it looks very much like you're already being very loving and helpful to your father. Sometimes all we can do against certain unchangeable circumstance (like logistics) is responsibly embrace the suffering of others without adding our own onto theirs, and in this we help dignify and support their own efforts to discover endurance for dealing with what is happening.
Please be kind and mindful of your own responsibilities to yourself even as you fulfil and honor your father's love for you, and yours for him. Not that I'm saying you're not already of course. Be easy on yourself as best you can for whatever can't be readily improved for your father's circumstances.