Living in a Lifetime Movie
Yes that's where I feel we have landed this week. AH's drinking has been escalating between failed attempts to quit on his own. He left the house in a rage Monday night after some stupid but heated argument. Something in me calmly clicked and said 'get out with the kids before he comes back'. So I did. Well he came home to find us gone and flipped out. Calling, texting, etc. I turned off my phone and went to bed (we were at a girlfriends house where I knew he wouldn't find us).
I went back to the house Tuesday morning alone to see if we could talk. He came out of the house and started raging at me in the driveway at 7am. Tried to make me stay, take my keys, etc. I gave him my car key to placate him but had another one on my keychain (I learned a few good tricks here) Cops got called by neighbors, I managed to escape in the car before they arrived while he was distracted. They called me and told me to come back.
I came back and after them trying to talk with us and him being a total belligerent idiot he was cuffed and put in the car. They walked me into my house with a camera and took pictures of the destruction he caused - smashed my kitchen pendant lights, dining room drop light, granite counter, cherry cabinet door ripped off, smashed the sidelight on my front door. I was told to pack for a couple days and find somewhere safe until he went to court.
He was charged with Disorderly Conduct and the courts placed a no contact protective order on me (kids were not present and he didn't threaten them). He was released on a promise to appear and thankfully after two days of sleeping on his friends couch he opted to enter rehab out of state. DCF was contacted and came to the house to interview me and the kids which made me feel a bit like a criminal myself. Although I actually did the right things to protect my kids and have already reached out for support through their school and Al-Ateen.
Honestly I could see all this coming on over the past couple months - I knew it was just a matter of time before he snapped. SR helped me know when to leave, where to go and what to take. He was on a train that just couldn't stop and all I could do was get me and the kids out of the way. It could have been so much worse - nobody was physically hurt, he didn't kill someone driving, my kids didn't have to witness the anger or see their dad get arrested. I even managed with help to clean the house up of all the glass, broken stuff, etc before bringing them back home.
In addition to SR, Al-Anon has been a lifesaver. I know that night my HP was the voice that whispered to me to leave and I didn't hesitate. I'm working on getting through each day, taking care of my kids and myself. I love my husband and have since I was 17 - I'm 47. I don't know where any of this is going and I have to be ok with that for now. I do know that the crazy man who did all those things isn't the man I love. I don't know if the man I love is still in there and can find his way back out but I do know I can't live with the man I ran from that morning.
So...yeah that's my Lifetime Movie of the week.