Originally Posted by
MrsD 
Though I definitely rushed into marriage, I do know him. We share a lot of common goals and beliefs and dreams. When it's good, it's great. It just changes so quickly when alcohol is involved, whether he's drinking it.. or not drinking it but wanting to.
I think a big problem for us is, although he knows he has a problem and admits it... is that he does not see that it has anything to do with our problems. He sees it as a whole separate thing, when it is actually the root of it. As if it's always about my mood or my reactions, never him & the drinking.
I'm sure the "caregiver" in me inadvertently seeked out the alcoholic.
I thought the same thing about my ex. We wanted the same things, shared the same dreams, could have a perfect family life, if only...That was part of what kept me stuck with my ex for so long, the fantasy of what our life COULD be if he would just get his act together and sober up.
Sadly things aren't that simple with an alcoholic. His only real goal involves drinking uninterrupted. Sounds like he has a pretty good system in place for keeping the status quo. He gives lip service to the idea that he knows he has a problem, wants help, etc, but never takes any real action toward recovery. Then the whole cycle starts over again.