Originally Posted by
johnno1 
Yes thanks I'm now strongly considering it. Thank you.
We back to happy family today blah blah I just pretend with him and surly he must too .
I had a good talk to a v close friend about it today, unfortunately she seemed to be more towards me accepting maybe just beer for him, she had all the excuses and even mentioned others that drink nightly and the wife dosent nag. Omg I don't think I can talk about this with others they just do not get it at all :-(
Strongly considering Al-Anon is somewhat similar to an alcoholic making a plan to have a plan. I don't think you realize it or see it, but your denial and resistance to seek recovery is similar to his. After all, putting in the effort will upset the status quo. Unfortunately, those of us married to alcoholics tend to maintain the status quo.
You are pretending and he is pretending. If he wants to play pretend, that is fine because it is his choice. But why is it your choice?
Other people who are not married to alcoholics/addicts will NOT get it. That is why I am encouraging you to go to an Al-Anon meeting. Only folks like us who have shared your experiences will understand your situation.
I know how easy it is to remain miserable, complain, and contemplate trying out a meeting. I assure you, that when you decide (without input from friends or family) your life is miserable, you will try a meeting.
I had to walk away. Maybe you will choose to stay, which is your right. But I lived with the hell of alcoholism for many years. It is no way to live.