lucybb

I totally get that! In fact, I find that making that comparison helps me to keep ahold of what it is that bothers me so much about my husband's drinking, which has also reduced a great deal lately. So, you are now only sleeping with your mistress a few times a week instead of everyday? Hmmm...I should be very grateful and think that's awesome, right? Nobody would ever say that about cheating, and drinking is like cheating - his loyalties are to booze, not you. His caring and affections are for booze, not you. His lies and denials and deflecting blame are all to protect the most important thing in his life - booze, not you. I have to keep reminding myself of this, as it's so easy to slip back into feeling guilty for being angry, feeling like I should be grateful it is better - as if less crappy behaviour is wonderful, rather than just better than the great deal of crappy behaviour that came before, and will likely come again. Imagining the booze as a mistress puts the behaviour into perspective for me.