I'm scared of being alone. Im scared of all these kids being both with and/ or without him. Im scared of making a fool of us both. Im scared of hurting the kids. Firesprite he was just 'not drinking' we are a blended family my two are 17 and 24 his two are 14 and 11 our two are 3 and 1 he is my kids Dad. He is the one that is there for them.
I don't want this consent drama of drinking and the dramas it creates. But I do want the company the love. The support. I'm angry with myself for getting in so deep. Im angry with myself for letting myself fall in love with a drinker.
I feel foolish say I love him. But I do.
I don't want to be a long time sufferer at the hands of an alcoholic. I wish I had family to help. I wish I didn't feel like I need to protect the children from their Dad.