I had a few chances to sober up before I actually did. It is a fact that I chose not to take them, but was I actually capable of making a sane choice at the time? I remember very clearly the kind people who tried to help me, but I seemed to be in a delusional state, a state of denial, even a psychotic state, where I could not see what they were talking about.
I knew I had some problems, I hoped to find a solution, but I could not see what everyone else could see, that booze was at the bottom of it. I had completely lost touch with reality.
In that mental state, unable to see all the pros and cons, rational choice was not possible, though apparent choice was.
I had lost the power of choice in drink as the book says. And nowhere in the book does it say I will get it back. And I never have. Instead I have been placed in a position of neutrality, where that choice just never comes up.
Defining choice in this context is not that straight forward. I think of choice as being able to chose "a" one day and "b" the next,without adverse consequence, I could chose to change my mind. Free choice may be a better fit. But a choice between two options where one outcome is likely to be death or insanity, is not what I would call a free choice.
Cake or death? Which is the sane choice?